I have decided to stop ignoring my indecisive and distorted mind by finally admitting to myself that my dreams are becoming smaller and smaller as I take steps further away from my aspirations. I found myself creating boundaries and following the social system of traditional education pathways. I guess there is a certain simplicity but there is this place in my heart where I feel completely empty inside and desperately wanting my heart to burst into million pieces so that I can receive message of some sort to give me clarity or reassurance on what I am missing.
I have abandoned my passion for art and creating endless dreams for myself. I forgot about the sleepless nights where I lost myself in various adventures through my imagination and creations. I seem to ask myself daily, if I should trust my rapid cognition where I can create new boundaries or walk through the system of validation that someone has already created….
Playing Mozart Sonate in E minor; K. 304 in front of a large audience left me with great tears of joy.
It has been a difficult semester filled escalating emotions of self-identity. I have identified myself as a young female who is madly in love with music, knowledge, and mystery.
Music has taught me about dedication, discipline, and great effort consistency.
I received the scores in December and was quite intimidated, because simply, its “Mozart”. For whom that do not know Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, he is the royalty of classical music that composed for the musicians to play his pieces full of energy, passion, darkness, and grace.
"How is it possible for a musician to master all of those emotions into one piece?"
I found myself dedicating many hours of practice and began to find great imagery for a character that I escaped to be when playing with enormous amount energy. The character was filled with fear and resentments, locked up emotions of animosity I never recognized. She let the soul dust away by securely identifying every one of the wooden black and white keys with all
power she possessed…. She also inspired me to see the beauty of life and self-worth.
After all those trials of dedication, effort and passion, I have never felt so proud and accomplished. Seeing those smiles and hearing claps of joy made me feel again, that, I do have a purpose, I can share rush of happiness and beauty with others through the gifts I hold.